{"id":22046,"date":"2026-05-15T12:00:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-15T10:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/?page_id=22046"},"modified":"2026-05-09T18:28:58","modified_gmt":"2026-05-09T16:28:58","slug":"kinderen-die-afhaken","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/faq\/kinderen-die-afhaken\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Christian Children Drop Out"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"iframe-container\"><iframe style=\"background: url('https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/wp-content\/uploads\/images\/faq\/How-can-you-prevent-your-children-from-leaving-the-faith.jpg') no-repeat center center \/ cover;\" id=\"lbry-iframe\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/rumble.com\/embed\/v77fg3o\/?pub=2102lq\" allowfullscreen frameBorder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n<p class=\"\"><\/p>\n\n<style> .fallback-yt { cursor: pointer; } <\/style>\n\n<button class=\"fallback-yt tooltip\" title=\"Click here to watch through a different stream\" onclick=\"document.getElementById('lbry-iframe').src='https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ouo8AjsAJS0'\">Stream 2<\/button>\n<button class=\"fallback-yt tooltip\" title=\"Click here to watch through a different stream\" onclick=\"document.getElementById('lbry-iframe').src='https:\/\/odysee.com\/$\/embed\/@apologeet:3\/how-can-you-prevent-your-children-from-leaving-the-faith:4'\">Stream 3<\/button>\n\n<p class=\"\">Imagine this: you\u2019ve been taking your children to church for years. They know the stories. They know the songs. They\u2019ve been baptised or made their confession of faith. And then, one day, they say: \u201cDad, Mum, I don\u2019t really believe any more.\u201d Let that sink in for a moment. It\u2019s not a stranger who\u2019s turning away from the faith. But your own child. You know, for many parents, grandparents and youth leaders, this is one of the most painful things they experience. And the question that then arises is: could I have prevented this? Should I have done something differently? In this video, I want to go through seven reasons with you why young people leave the faith. Not as an accusation, but as a mirror. Because once you know the causes, you can start working on the solution.<\/p>\n\n<h3>CONTEXT &amp; STATISTICS<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">Well, let\u2019s not underestimate the seriousness of the situation. Research shows that a large proportion of young people growing up in Christian families turn their backs on the faith at some point during their teenage years or early adulthood. Meanwhile, we are now seeing young people from non-Christian families coming to faith. Yet in many Dutch churches, we see an ageing congregation taking hold. And that is no coincidence. It fits a pattern. But here is the remarkable thing: the Bible already speaks of this. In <b>Psalm 78:4<\/b> we read:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">Passing on the faith to the next generation is no trivial matter. It is a commission given by God Himself. Let us therefore take an honest look at the seven reasons why things sometimes go wrong.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 1 \u2014 Hypocrisy at home<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">The first reason is perhaps the most painful: hypocrisy at home. Young people are very sensitive to authenticity. They notice when Dad is the most devout man in church on Sundays, but has outbursts during the week, is harsh towards his wife or treats his staff unfairly. They see it. And do you know what happens then? They start to associate faith with a mask. With pretence. And at some point, they take that mask off themselves. <b>Matthew 7:21<\/b> says something striking:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">\u2018Not everyone who says to me, \u201cLord, Lord,\u201d will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">And Paul writes in <b>Titus 1:16<\/b>:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">The solution is not perfection. Nor does God ask for that. The solution is honesty. A child who sees his father acknowledge his mistakes and ask for forgiveness \u2014 even from his own children \u2014 learns more about the gospel than a hundred church services.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 2 \u2014 Questions were not taken seriously<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">The second reason: questions were not taken seriously. Young people have questions. Sometimes difficult questions. About suffering. About science. About sexuality. About why God allowed this or that. And what sometimes \u2014 sadly \u2014 happens is this: those questions are dismissed with \u201cyou just have to believe\u201d or \u201cyou don\u2019t ask questions like that.\u201d And then those questions don\u2019t go away. They go underground. And they find answers elsewhere. On the internet, with friends, with atheist YouTubers who do take the trouble to answer seriously. You know, <b>1 Peter 3:15<\/b> is precisely why this is so relevant:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cAlways ready\u201d is what it says here. That is not an option. And that applies within the family too. A child who learns that doubt is welcome will continue the conversation. A child who has learnt that doubt is dangerous will fall silent \u2014 and quietly walk away.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 3 \u2014 Competition from the world<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">The third reason: the world offers alternatives that seem far more appealing. This is not a new battle, but the intensity is new. Young people are growing up with social media, with TikTok, with a constant stream of images, opinions and lifestyles that say: enjoy the moment, live for yourself, you are your own truth. And then there is one hour a week of church. One hour a week versus dozens of hours of digital immersion. Now, the solution is not to ban the internet. That won\u2019t work. The solution is to go deeper. For <b>Deuteronomy 6:6\u20137<\/b> says:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">At home. On the way. In the evening. In the morning. Faith was never meant just for Sunday mornings. It was meant to be the air you breathe within the family.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 4 \u2014 Traditions without a foundation<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">The fourth reason: faith as tradition, not as conviction. There are young people who have been going to church for years, but who have never really understood why. They did it because that\u2019s what was expected. Because grandad and grandma did it too. But a deeper encounter with the living God? That never happened. And then \u2014 at university, in a new city, without the social pressure from home \u2014 the choice is quickly made. Paul writes to Timothy in <b>2 Timothy 3:15<\/b>:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">\u2026and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">Timothy knew the Scriptures from childhood. But it is not just about knowledge. It is about salvation through faith. The aim of faith-based upbringing is not a child who knows the stories, but a child who knows Christ. <b>Proverbs 22:6<\/b>:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 5 \u2014 Painful church experiences<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">The fifth reason is one we don\u2019t like to hear: painful experiences within the church itself. Young people who were rejected. Young people who were shamed for their doubts. Young people who saw how gossip, abuse of power or hypocrisy tore the church apart. And who became victims of it themselves. This is not an indictment of the church as a whole. But we must be honest: the church can hurt people. And young people who have been hurt sometimes leave not out of unbelief, but out of self-preservation. <b>Ephesians 6:4<\/b> says:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">But this is where things often go wrong. It is not just about fathers in the family. It is also about the fatherly role that leaders fulfil in the church. Leading from a place of love or from a place of control \u2014 young people sense that difference. And <b>James 5:16<\/b> shows how things can be different:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">A church that is vulnerable and knows forgiveness \u2014 that is the church where young people want to stay.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 6 \u2014 No answers to difficult questions<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">The sixth reason goes a step further than reason two: young people were not given any apologetic tools. There is a difference between \u201cit\u2019s OK to ask questions\u201d and \u201chere are the answers.\u201d Because in secondary school, at university, and through friends, young people are confronted with challenges to the Christian faith. About evolution. About the problem of evil. About contradictions in the Bible \u2014 or what people perceive as such. And if they have never learnt to answer those questions seriously at home or in the church, they suddenly find themselves empty-handed. You know, that is precisely why apologetics is not a luxury. It is a service to the next generation. <b>1 Peter 3:15<\/b> once again:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">Ready to give an account. That requires preparation. And that preparation starts early \u2014 not just when they\u2019re already at university.<\/p>\n\n<h3>REASON 7 \u2014 Faith was never discussed at home<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">And the seventh reason \u2014 perhaps the quietest one: faith was never really discussed at home. Not about doubts. Not about answered prayers. Not about how God is present in their parents\u2019 lives today. Faith was a private matter. Or it was a church matter. But not a topic for the dinner table. And children don\u2019t just learn from what you say. They learn from what you share. If Dad never tells them how he prays, how he wrestles with God, how he finds comfort in the Scriptures \u2014 then the child sees faith as something you only put on at Sunday and take off again after the service. <b>Mark 9:24<\/b> shows how a father was honest about his own faith and unbelief:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">Immediately the boy\u2019s father exclaimed, \u2018I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!\u2019<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">That is not weakness. That is authenticity. And authenticity is the most contagious thing there is.<\/p>\n\n<h3>CONCLUSION \u2014 HOPE<\/h3>\n\n<p class=\"\">Well, seven reasons. And perhaps you recognise one. Perhaps you recognise three. Perhaps you recognise them all. You know, this is not an indictment. For hope is greater than the causes. <b>Matthew 19:14<\/b> says:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">Jesus said, \u2018Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.\u2019<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">Jesus draws children to Himself. And even a child who has run away \u2014 the God who saw the prodigal son from afar still runs to meet him. <b>Luke 15:20<\/b>:<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"cite\">So he got up and went to his father. \u2018But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms round him and kissed him.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"\">It is never too late. But the task lies with us. To be present. To be honest. To dare to give answers. And above all \u2014 to know God, not just to know about Him.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do so many young people leave the Christian faith \u2014 and what can you, as a parent, youth leader or church member, do about it? In this video, we&#8217;ll discuss the 7 most common reasons why young people lose their faith, based on the Bible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22063,"parent":1086,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[225,308],"tags":[257,258,358,272,242,357,263],"folder":[102],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22046"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22046"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22046\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22081,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22046\/revisions\/22081"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1086"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22063"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22046"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22046"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22046"},{"taxonomy":"folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.apologeet.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/folder?post=22046"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}