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Rob Jetten and Surrogacy – Is Every Wish Acceptable?Introduction – A desire for a child does not make everything permissible
On 19 October 2026, it was announced that Dutch Prime minister, Rob Jetten and his partner, Nicolás Keenan, are expecting a child in 2027 through surrogacy. The news was widely celebrated. But, to be honest, I have serious reservations about it. Should a personal desire for a child determine everything, or are we losing sight of the child’s voice and dignity?
This is about far more than a personal wish. It raises questions about what a family is, what God intended for human reproduction, and whether adults have the right to arrange a child’s birth according to their own wishes.
Jetten and his partner are two men. People may have different views on that, but as a Christian I consider it primarily in the light of God’s created order. God established marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman. We cannot change that created order to suit our own preferences. That is why I find it troubling when two gay men seek to have a child by involving an egg donor and a surrogate mother.
But there is something else that perhaps troubles me most. In all the reporting, we hear mainly about the adults’ desire for a child: their longing, their happiness, and the women who want to help them. But what about the child’s voice?
The child did not ask to be brought into the world in this way. It cannot have a say in the arrangements made before its birth. It cannot express how it feels about one woman providing the egg, another carrying the pregnancy, and two men raising it.
The adults have a wish, but a child is not a product to be commissioned in order to fulfil it.
God has not left us to invent the family for ourselves
In Genesis 1, we read that God created human beings as male and female. He blessed them and told them to be fruitful and multiply. In Genesis 2, we read how a man leaves his father and mother, is united to his wife, and the two become one flesh.
Genesis 1:27–28 says:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
And in Genesis 2:24 we read:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
This is not merely an ancient description of one possible family arrangement. From a biblical perspective, it is the created order established by God. Marriage was not invented by human beings, and the family is not simply a construct that we can reshape to suit our own desires.
That is why I cannot accept the idea that two people who want a child automatically form a family in the way God intended. The love and care adults want to give a child do not, in themselves, answer the question of whether the means by which the child comes into the world are biblically right.
Surrogacy separates reproduction from the bodily union of a man and a woman. The sperm comes from one person, the egg from another woman, and a third person carries the pregnancy. The child is then raised by the intended parents.
This represents a fundamental shift. Reproduction becomes a process organised to achieve a desired outcome. But God has not given us life to design as we please.
A child is not a product of our desire to become parents
Psalm 127:3 says:
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Children are a gift from God. That means a child is not, first and foremost, our possession. A child is a human being created by God and entrusted to our care.
It also means that we should not ask only, ‘How can we fulfil our desire for a child?’ We must also ask: ‘What is good for the child? What does this child need? And what does God require of us as adults?’
Parenthood is not simply a desire being fulfilled; it is a responsibility entrusted to us. A child is not ours to shape as we please, but a person whom we must care for and protect.
And that is precisely where I believe surrogacy becomes problematic.
Before going any further, I want to make something clear. I fully recognise that some people long deeply for a child but are unable to have one easily, or at all. The pain of childlessness can be profound. Some couples have spent years trying to conceive, undergone medical investigations and treatments, and perhaps also gone through IVF. They have hoped and prayed, only to face disappointment time and again.
I do not want to minimise that grief. Nor do I want to suggest that wanting a child is wrong, or that people struggling with fertility problems should simply stop longing to become parents. That would be harsh and unkind. As Christians, we should recognise their pain and support them with love.
The Bible, too, does not dismiss such grief as unimportant. Think of Hannah, who was deeply distressed by her childlessness and poured out her heart before God. In 1 Samuel 1:10 we read:
And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.
If you have not had children, it does not mean that your life is less valuable, that God loves you less, or that you have done something wrong. Your worth does not depend on being a parent. You are a person known and loved by God.
This is perhaps important to hear, too: if you have not had children, you are no less human, no less loved by God, and no less valuable in his Kingdom. Your life does not have to be fulfilled through parenthood before it can have meaning.
We see this in Isaiah 56:4–5 as well:
For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.
The grief of childlessness is real and deep. But however understandable that longing may be, it raises an important question: does the desire for a child justify every means of fulfilling it?
Parenthood is not a right to claim a child; it is a responsibility to protect and raise a child entrusted to your care. Even with techniques such as IVF, we must think carefully about the dignity of human life and how we treat embryos. A desire for a child never automatically gives us the right to arrange reproduction according to our wishes or to involve another woman’s body in doing so.
To be clear, I am not saying that Jetten and Keenan literally regard their child as a commodity; as far as is known, this is a non-commercial arrangement. But even when everyone gives their consent freely, we must still ask whether it is right to bring a child into the world in this way. The child has a dignity of its own, which matters more than the adults’ desire for a child.
The Bible warns against human solutions
In Genesis 16, we read how Sarah, who was unable to have children, gave her servant Hagar to Abraham so that she might have a child through her. Hagar became pregnant and gave birth to Ishmael. But the story led to grief, tension, and a painful separation.
Rachel, too, gave her servant Bilhah to Jacob in order to have children. In Genesis 30, we see the birth of children becoming part of the rivalry between Rachel and Leah.
The Bible does not describe these events as a modern, technical prohibition. Yet they do show that human solutions to the desire for a child do not automatically lead to peace and justice. The desire can become so overwhelming that the position of others involved—and of the child itself—comes under pressure.
What about the child’s voice?
This is the most important point for me.
The adults decide that they want a child. The surrogate agrees to carry the pregnancy. The egg donor provides her egg. And then the child is born.
But the child has no say in that decision. It cannot say whether it wants the woman who carries the pregnancy also to be its biological mother, or whether it wants another woman to provide the egg.
Of course, no child can give prior consent to being born. My point is that adults have a responsibility not merely to pursue their own wishes, but to put the child’s dignity and interests first.
The child cannot take part in deciding the arrangement into which it is born. It cannot say how it will want to relate to its biological origins later in life, who the woman who carried the pregnancy is, or what agreements the adults made before its birth.
When Jesus welcomes children, we see something of God’s heart. In Mark 10:14 we read:
But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
Jesus welcomes them as people with dignity of their own, not as a means of satisfying adults’ needs.
Conclusion – Not everything that can be done should be done
I understand that the desire for a child can run very deep, and the grief of childlessness deserves our compassion and support. But I do not believe every desire for a child should be fulfilled by every means imaginable.
From a biblical perspective, I believe God established marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman, and that children are a gift from him. That is why I reject surrogacy as a way of organising reproduction to meet adults’ wishes.
We do not have to endorse every social development in order to treat people with respect. The child itself deserves love and protection, and that is precisely why we must think critically about the circumstances in which it comes into the world.
A child is not a product. The desire for a child is not a right. And not everything that is medically possible is therefore biblically right.
