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It seems Christians in the West don’t have much better to do than attack each other. We see it in the churches. A young couple, struggling with the raw heartbreak of divorce, are quietly expelled from the small group they once called family, their brothers, and sisters. A new believer, full of awkward questions, is told that his doubt is simply a sign of weak faith. What’s more, he is a being accused of having a spirit of contend. These are not just hypothetical situations; for far too many, they are painful realities.

But the Christian world is also stirring its tail in civil society. Over the last few years, Mike Winger, made a couple of videos refuting the teachings of Benny Hinn, and he did this in a correct and clear way. He hit the mark when he biblically refuted Hinn’ public videos. Hinn did not like this, but YouTube did not want to remove Winger’s videos. So, instead of first reading how to respond biblically to this, he continued falsely accusing Winger of copyright infringements. And you know what? You better watch out for this guy because he will curse you and your children for bothering his ministry.

If you think these thing only happen in the USA, think twice. Recently Jos, from the Dutch YouTube channel EvangeliseerNL, refuted certain teachings of the Dutch public speaker David de Vos. David did not like this, but YouTube did not want to remove Jos’ videos. Instead of first reading up on how to respond biblically, David immediately started threatening Jos with his lawyer!

High time to see what the Bible has to say about both hypocrisy and judging!

Surely it Shouldn’t get any Crazier!

The Lord Jesus’ most important commandment—which he said would define his followers—was to ‘love one another’. But often within the Christian community it feels more like a courtroom where we constantly judge each other, and sometimes even openly denounce each other. The sharpest judgement comes not from outside the church, but from the pews.

Of course, we should denounce hypocrisy and false teaching in the church. There is good reason for that. Research by the Barna Group, a well-known American Christian research group, has shown that a large majority of non-Christian youth see Christians as judgmental and hypocritical. And let’s face it, this is not just a made-up stereotype that the world has of us. But the question is whether we as Christians see it this way! I’m afraid many of us are quite content with ourselves.

As mentioned, in this video, we go into more detail about why Christians can be their own worst critics, and more importantly, what we can do to change that. Not only that, but we will also look at what the Bible teaches us about our behaviour towards each other.

Mission vs Reality

One of the core values of Christianity is this simple but incredibly challenging instruction from Jesus in the Gospel of John 13: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

The Lord did not say this because He thought it to be a cute little idea. He says this is the church’s business card. This is how people will know that you belong to Me, He adds. But if we are honest, there is often a huge gap between this commandment and how we act in reality. This gap is clearly visible. So, while Christians often see themselves as loving, gracious, wise and compassionate, the studies show that people outside the church often use words like ‘judgmental’, ‘hypocritical’ and ‘self-righteous’ to describe us.

Why does our faith, which is based on grace, so often produce such harsh judgements? Why do we fail to look at each other with gracious eyes? Why do we prefer to threaten each other with lawyers instead of picking up the phone to call one another? The answer is complicated, but I think it starts with a misunderstanding of what the Bible actually says about the word ‘judge’.

The Biblical Nuance of ‘Judge’

Let’s talk about one of the most quoted and perhaps one of the most misunderstood verses in the entire Bible:

Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, that you be not judged."

This verse is thrown around like a shield to ward off all criticism. This creates a culture in which no one can or should be held accountable. But doing so takes the verse completely out of context. It is not a ban on moral evaluation. Nor is it a prohibition on refuting wrong teaching. Immediately after Jesus says, "Judge not", he tells a story about the absurdity of trying to pick a tiny speck of dust out of your friend’s eye while there is a giant beam sticking out of your own.

The subject Jesus touches on is about hypocrisy. He lashes out at proud, self-righteous judgmental people who are fond of pointing out others’ flaws. This, while totally ignoring their own flaws. Jesus’ command is a call to become humble, to look in the mirror and address our own problems first, before we even think about addressing someone else’s. It is a call to treat others with the same grace we want for ourselves.

By the way, I have made a video on hypocrisy before. You can find the link below.

Back to Mike Winger’s videos for a moment. What Mike did in his videos was on the spoken un-Biblical teachings in Hinn’s videos. Mike seems to be fully aware of his own shortcomings in his rebuttals. This is almost in stark contrast to utterances by Benny Hinn. Hinn has been rock-hard in public debate about people who disagreed with him. But now when he is refuted himself on certain issues, he seems anything but inclined to look at his own actions.

The Bible warns against hypocritical, judgmental discernments, but at the same time we are also called to correct each other in a gracious and loving way. Paul did this frequently and preferably indoors. But when sins or false teachings were public, he did not hesitate to address these issues publicly as well. Hinn’s videos are public which means they may also be scrutinised in public.

Admittedly, the problem with many of us is that we constantly lose sight of this balance. The balance all too often tips to one side. We either fall back into a strict, legalistic attitude or, on the contrary, into a far too indulgent, ‘anything goes’ vibe that simply ignores sin. Finding that Christian balance—graciously holding one another accountable—is the challenge where we often fail.

The Roots of Harsh, Unloving Criticism

Mike Winger’s videos demonstrate compassion. While he is sharp on the untruths, at the same time he calls for prayer for people who teach these errors. It is too bad we don’t always see this balanced attitude in the Christian world. Why is that anyway? Why does the beam in our own eye feel so much smaller than that splinter in our brother or sister’s eye? The reasons are buried deep in our own human nature.

Firstly, there is the poison of pride. It is a story as old as time. It is the spirit of the Pharisee who thanked God that he was not like other people. When we judge others harshly, we are actually just trying to make ourselves feel better. By pointing out other people’s faults, we create a false sense of our own moral superiority. It is a cheap way to feel righteous without doing the hard work. We feel like we are defending God’s truth, but in reality we are only feeding our own ego.

Secondly, much of our criticism of others stems from fear. We are afraid that what others do will tarnish God’s reputation or the testimony of the church. We are afraid to compromise with worldly culture. This fear can make us rigid and defensive, causing us to control others’ behaviour—not out of love for them, but out of a desperate need to control the narrative. This is often the cause of quarrels between denominations, where small differences are treated as a huge threat. Just look at what the Reformed world has to say about evangelical denominations, and vice versa!

I also made a video about that topic. You can find the link below.

Thirdly, our passion is being used as a weapon. Many discerning Christians are genuinely passionate about God and the Bible. They believe deeply in the truth. But as the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, passion without love is just a lot of noise—it’s a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If we care more about being ‘right’ than being loving, then our passion becomes a dangerous stick with which we wildly beat around. Then we use truth as a baseball bat to beat people down instead of using truth as a light, a light to lead them to God’s house. We may speak the truth, but we forget the most important part of that commandment: speak it ‘in love’.

The damage Done

The consequences of all this internal unloving criticism are devastating. Within the church, it destroys any chance of real community. It creates an atmosphere of fear and suspicion in which people are afraid to admit they struggle with certain teachings in the Bible, or are afraid to ask difficult questions. Instead of being a safe haven for the broken-hearted, the church becomes a place of performance, where everyone puts on a nice holy mask and pretends they have it all together. This breeds bitterness and ultimately drives people away from the very community that should be their support.

For those watching us, the damage is just as bad. Our hypocrisy becomes a huge stumbling block. As we have already seen, the image of Christians as judgmental quacks is one of the biggest obstacles that keeps unbelievers from even considering Jesus. It is like the famous statement, "the only Jesus they will see is the Jesus in you and me."

The problem is not that unbelievers do not know Christians; the problem is that they know Christians who show something different from what Jesus taught us. Our inside wars are seen by the world, and they logically conclude that if this is what the family of God looks like, they want no part of it.

And finally, perhaps most tragically, there is the personal damage. For the one condemned—the shamed teenager, the ignored divorced woman, the vindicated new believer, the lawyer-threatened Christian YouTuber—the wounds are invisibly present. Many of them came seeking mercy but found condemnation. Many walk away, not because they reject Jesus, but because they have been rejected by His followers, yes, even persecuted by those who believe they follow Jesus.

The Way Forward

So how do we break this destructive cycle? How do we become communities known for loving rather than condemning one another?

Firstly, we must relentlessly fix our gaze on Jesus. Christianity should not be judged by our failures, but by the perfection of Christ. He is the One who ate with tax collectors, touched the sick and gave grace to the adulteress. Yes, God’s word instructs us to esteem others more excellent than ourselves.

Philippians 2:3

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

When we judge or review, our first question should be: "how would Jesus treat this person, here and now?" He is the perfect blend of grace and truth, and we should learn to copy His attitude of compassionate engagement.

Secondly, we must commit to the hard, ongoing work of humility. Before we dare to name the splinter in someone else’s eye, we must earnestly ask God to show us the possible giant beam in our own eye. But humility also means that we must be able to resolve disputes with each other without seeking to prove our right before a worldly judge. In the Netherlands David de Vos may be convinced of his own ‘right’ and ‘entitlement’, but he would have been a better example if he had not threatened with his lawyer but simply picked up the phone instead. Humility and love compels us to consider the other more significant. The Bible is very clear.

1 Corinthians 6:4-8

So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!

Thirdly, we must learn the difference between what is essential to the Christian faith and what is merely a matter of preference or tradition. We must be united on the core truths of the Gospel, but allow freedom and diversity in the myriad areas where the Bible gives no specific commandment. We must stop breaking up our fellowship over things like worship styles or political opinions. Love should cover all these small differences.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

If you want to know about the main doctrines within Christianity, you can click on the link below.

And lastly, let us again show each other, and the world, what real, loving accountability looks like. Accountability or questioning is not about condemning, it is about restoring. It is about approaching a brother or sister personally, with gentleness and humility, because you really want the best for him or her. It is about helping, not hurting. We must remember that people who are approached with grace and love are much more likely to change than those who are judged harshly.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Conclusion

The fact that, as Christians, we are our own worst critics is not a new problem, but it is a very damaging one. It stems from a toxic mix of pride, fear and misplaced passion that goes directly against the central mission of our faith. But it does not have to be this way. The answer to hypocrisy is not to abandon faith, but to take it more seriously.

The church is meant to be a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. The church of Christ is a motley collection of imperfect people justified by the grace of God. Eduard Douwes Dekker, or Multatuli, wrote in his book, Max Havelaar that the Lord has strange lodgers. And so it is!

The solution is to first turn our critical gaze to ourselves, ask God’s grace to cover our own shortcomings, and then turn our gaze outward with exactly the same grace to others around us. The challenge for each of us is to be part of the solution—to be someone who builds up rather than tears down, who encourages rather than criticises, and who is known above all else for his love.

OK, I’ll leave it at that. Now if you want to see more videos like this subscribe to my channel and hit the notification bell right away, then you will never have to miss a new video.

I’m very curious to hear what you think about this topic, or what your experiences are. Let me know in the comments below.

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